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You amuse me with your touch
although I can’t see your hands.
You have kissed me with tenderness
although I haven’t seen your lips
You are hidden from me.
But it is you who keeps me alive
Perhaps the time will come
when you will tire of kisses
I shall be happy
even for insults from you
I only ask that you
keep some attention on me.




I want your sun to reach my raindrops

I want your sun to reach my raindrops,
so your heat can raise my soul upward like a cloud




William Golding: Art As Discovery

“When I did as I was told; when I drew and painted in obedience I was praised judiciously. I would make a good teacher, perhaps, a man who knew all the ropes and understood why each thing must be done. Set a problem, and I could produce the straight, the safe academic answer. Yet sometimes I would feel myself connected to the well inside me and then I broke loose. There would come into my whole body a feeling of passionate certainty. Not that – but this! Then I would stand the world of appearances on its head, would reach in and down, would destroy savagely and re-create – not for painting or precisely for art with a capital A, but for this very concrete creation itself. If, like Philip and Diogenes, I had been looking for an honest man in my own particular racket I should have found him then he would have been myself. Art is partly communication but only partly. The rest is discovery. I have always been the creature of discovery.”
-William Golding “Free Fall”

selfportrit-free fall-wtercolor-ink

selfportrit-free fall-wtercolor-ink

The music of Altai Kai exudes the energy and mystery of a snow-capped mountainous homeland in which powerful spirits need to be brought on side in order for herders and hunters to survive. By combining kai (‘throat-singing’ whereby a single performer creates a melody fattened by spectral overtones) and traditional instruments (horse-hair fiddles, lutes, jaw’s harps, end-blown pipes and shamanic drum) with their own song-writing, this prize-winning six-piece group evokes the mythology, beliefs and everyday ambience of the sacred ‘golden’ Altai Mountains of southern Siberia.

Paul Pena played blues with the greats T-Bone Walker, B.B. King, and Bonnie Raitt. In 1995, the blind bluesman became the first American ever to compete in an unusual contest of multi-harmonic “throatsinging.”

The Autonomous Republic of Tuva, wedged between Siberia and Mongolia, for centuries has been isolated from the rest of the world by jagged mountains and Soviet restrictions. Only recently have the Tuvan art form of throatsinging become known to outsiders.

Pena discovered Tuvan throatsinging on a shortwave program of Radio Moscow twelve years ago. Multiple voices emanated from a single vocalist and the sounds gripped him like nothing he had ever heard. For the next nine years he worked to produce similar overtones with his own voice and to incorporate throatsinging into his blues music.

Unexpectedly in 1993, Pena discovered that Tuvan throatsingers were on their first concert tour of the U.S.. After their performance, the deep-voiced bluesman broke into his own self-taught style of throatsinging and serenaded the musicians with Tuvan traditional songs! The throatsingers were amazed by Pena’s mastery of the Tuvan art form and likened his rich voice to the sounds of tremors in the earth. They insisted that “Chershemjer” (Earthquake) travel to Tuva for the next tri-ennial throatsinging contest which would be held in 1995.

Eleven years after he first heard throat singing, Paul Pena entered the National Theatre of Tuva to make history. The blind bluseman’s performance was so well received, he became the 1995 throatsinging champion in the style of kargyraa. He also captured the “audience favorite” award for the week-long competition. The Tuvan people had never seen or heard anyone like him.

Pena was honored by the Tuvan people, not only because he mastered kargyraa, but he also learned to speak their language. His friendship flourished with Kongar-ol Ondar, the throatsinging champion who had invited Pena three years earlier. Ondar hosted Pena as the bluesman experienced the country he once believed he would never visit.

“Genghis Blues” is a film about exploration and friendship. It is the story of a man whose struggle in life is not defined by conformity and rules but by an unquenchable curiosity, and love of music. Pena’s story is truly an inspiration to all.

Art of Tea

“The ‘art of tea’ is a spiritual force for us to share.”

~ Alexandra Stoddard

watercolor on paper - teapot

watercolor on paper – teapot

“If you want to awaken all of humanity,
then awaken all of yourself,
if you want to eliminate the suffering in the world,
then eliminate all that is negative in yourself.
Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that
of your own self-transformation.”

— Lao Tzu

watercolor on paper - selfportrait

watercolor on paper – selfportrait

This love is the rose that blooms forever.

watercolor on paper - selfportrait - love

watercolor on paper – selfportrait – love


You are searching the world for
treasure but the real treasure is
yourself. If you are tempted by
bread, you will find only bread.
What you seek for you become.

Your earthly lover can be very
charming and coquettish but never
very faithful. The true lover is the
one who on your final day
opens a thousand doors.

watercolor on paper by azhykmaa

watercolor on paper by azhykmaa

“Through my love for you,
I want to express my love for the whole cosmos,
the whole of humanity, and all beings.
By living with you,
I want to learn to love everyone and all species.
If I succeed in loving you,
I will be able to love everyone and
all species on Earth… This is the real message of love.”

~ Thích Nhất Hạnh, Teachings on Love

watercolor-selfportrait-the real message of love

watercolor-selfportrait-the real message of love

“Your vision will become clear only
when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.”
~ Carl Jung

watercolor on paper - selfportrait

watercolor on paper – selfportrait

“Love means to reach for the sky
and with every breath to tear a
hundred veils. Love means to step
away from the ego, to open the eyes
of inner vision and not to take this
world so seriously”
~ Rumi

watercolor - selfportrait

watercolor – selfportrait

Kongar-ol Ondar, performing at the 2013 Rose Parade, was respected by musicians worldwide.

Kongar-ol Ondar, performing at the 2013 Rose Parade, was respected by musicians worldwide.

Kongar-ol Ondar, an internationally renowned master of Tuvan throat singing, the Central Asian vocal art in which a singer produces two or more notes simultaneously — and which to the uninitiated sounds like the bewitching, remarkably harmonious marriage of a vacuum cleaner and a bumblebee — died on July 25 in Kyzyl, Tuva’s capital. He was 51.

The cause was complications after emergency surgery for a brain hemorrhage, said Sean P. Quirk, a longtime friend.

A region in southern Siberia just north of Mongolia, Tuva was an independent country from 1921 until 1944, when it was annexed by the Soviet Union. The region, which has a population of about 300,000, is now part of the Russian Federation.

Small, round and beatific, Mr. Ondar was a superstar in Tuva — “like John F. Kennedy, Elvis Presley and Michael Jordan kind of rolled into one,” in the words of “Genghis Blues” (1999), an Oscar-nominated documentary about throat singing in which he figures prominently.

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Whatever happens in your life,
no matter how troubling things might seem,
do not enter the neighbourhood of despair.
Even when all doors remain closed,
God will open up a new path only for you.
Be thankful!
It is easy to be thankful when all is well.
A Sufi is thankful not only for
what he has been given
but also for all that he has been denied.

~ Shams of Tabrizi

Whatever happens in your life

Whatever happens in your life

Your body is away from me
But there is a window open
from my heart to yours.
From this window, like the moon
I keep sending news secretly.

watercolor on paper-selfportrait

watercolor on paper-selfportrait

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”
John W. Gardner



I have sent you my invitation, the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living. Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!” Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires, spiralling down into the ache within the ache. And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart. Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living. And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day. Show me you can risk being completely at peace, truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment, and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring. Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall, the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will. What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart. And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business without letting business determine who you are. When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price, let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world the stories and the songs you want our children’s children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude, knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!”
Just take my hand and dance with me.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

watercolor on paper-wolf-the dance

watercolor on paper-wolf-the dance

When you seek Love
with all your Heart,
you shall find its echoes in the universe.

watercolor on paper-selfportrait-seeking love

watercolor on paper-selfportrait-seeking love

To Call up the Shades

One candle is enough. Its gentle light
will be more suitable, will be more gracious
when the Shades arrive, the Shades of Love.

One candle is enough. Tonight the room
should not have too much light. In deep reverie,
all receptiveness, and with the gentle light
-in this deep reverie I will form visions
to call up the Shades, the Shades of Love.

Constantine P. Cavafy

Watercolor-France-Annecy-To Call up the Shades

Watercolor-France-Annecy-To Call up the Shades

“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.”
~Bob Marley

watercolor on paper-feel the rain

watercolor on paper-feel the rain

“Real haiku is the soul of poetry.
Anything that is not actually
present in one’s heart is not haiku.
The moon glows, flowers bloom, insects cry, water flows.
There is no place we cannot find flowers or think of the moon.
This is the essence of haiku.
Go beyond the restrictions of your era,
forget about purpose or meaning,
separate yourself from historical limitations
—there you will find the essence of true art, religion, and science.”

~ Santōka Taneda

watercolor-portrait-the essence of true art

watercolor-portrait-the essence of true art


With love you cannot bargain
there, the choice is not yours.
Love is a mirror, it reflects
only your essence, if you have the
courage to look in its face.

To the parched lips of those who
are willing to surrender
Love will bring the wine that
changes darkness into vision,
cruelty into compassion and dust
into precious incense.

Love means to reach for the sky
and with every breath to tear a
hundred veils. Love means to step
away from the ego, to open the eyes
of inner vision and not to take this
world so seriously.

Like a thief, reason sneaked in and
sat amongst the lovers
eager to give them advice.
They were unwilling to listen, so
reason kissed their feet
and went on its way.

When you plant a tree
every leaf that grows will tell
you, what you sow will bear fruit.
So if you have any sense my friend,
don’t plant anything but love, you
show your worth by what you seek.
Water flows to those who want
purity. Wash your hands of all
desires and come to the table of love.

If you can’t smell the fragrance
don’t come into the garden of Love.
if you are unwilling to undress
don’t enter into the stream of
Truth. Stay where you are, don’t
come our way.

Watercolor-selfportrait-Hidden Music-detail

Watercolor-selfportrait-Hidden Music-detail

From the heart of the lovers, blood
flows like a vast river. Our body is
the windmill, and love, the water.
Without water the mill cannot turn.

Can the essence and the scent
be separate?
Whisper to me intimately, like a
lover for tenderness is rare in this
It is difficult to convey the magic of
love to those who are made of dust.

When you see the face of anger
look behind it and you will see the
face of pride. Bring anger and pride
under your feet, turn them into a
ladder and climb higher. There is
no peace until you become their
master. Let go of anger. It may taste
sweet but it kills. Don’t become it’s
victim, you need humility to climb to

There is a thread from the heart to
the lips where the secret of life is
woven. Words tear the thread
but in silence the secrets speak.

Do you want me to tell you a
secret? The flowers attract the most
beautiful lover with their sweet
smile and scent.

To find a pearl dive deep into the
ocean, don’t look in the fountains.
To find a pearl you must emerge from
the water of life always thirsty.

Do not be flattered by reason,
reason is only the child of the
mind. But true friendship
in born out of love and is the water
of life.

My dear heart, never think you are
better than others. Listen to their
sorrows with compassion. If you
want peace, don’t harbour bad
thoughts, do not gossip and
don’t teach what you do not know.

Those who think the heart is only
in the chest take two or three steps
and are content. The rosary, the
prayer rug, and repentance are
paths that they mistake for the

Seek the wisdom that will untie
your knot. Seek the path
that demands your whole being.
Leave that which is not, but
appears to be, seek that which is,
but is not apparent.

You are searching the world for
treasure but the real treasure is
yourself. If you are tempted by
bread, you will find only bread.
What you seek for you become.

Your earthly lover can be very
charming and coquettish but never
very faithful. The true lover is the
one who on your final day
opens a thousand doors.

First, lay down your head,
then one by one let go of all
distractions. Embrace the light and
let it guide you beyond the winds of
desire. There you will find a spring
and nourished by its sweet waters
like a tree you will bear fruit

Why are you so afraid of silence,
silence is the root of everything.
If you spiral into its void
a hundred voices will thunder
messages you long to hear.

You have woken up late,
lost and preplexed
but don’t rush to your books
looking for knowledge.
Pick up a flute instead and
let your heart play.
View full article »

Goodbyes are only for those
who love with their eyes.
Because for those
who love with heart and soul
there is no such thing as separation.


Watercolor-true love-portrait

Watercolor-true love-portrait

“Yesterday I was clever,
so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise,
so I am changing myself.”

― Rumi



This love is the rose that blooms forever.


watercolor-rose blooms

watercolor-rose blooms

“Are we to paint what’s on the face, what’s inside the face, or what’s behind it”



“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh



Look into me…

Look into me, for I am the light in your eyes.

~ Rumi



Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is the best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you

Shams of Tabriz’s 40 Rules of Love

Watercolor on paper-selfportrait-solitude

Watercolor on paper-selfportrait-solitude

Close your eyes and sing…

“To draw, you must close your eyes and sing ”
~Pablo Picasso

life drawing-quick pose 1

life drawing-quick pose 1

life drawing-quick pose 2

life drawing-quick pose 2

“There is no must in art because art is free.”
Wassily Kandinsky

life drawing-quick pose 3

life drawing-quick pose 3

life drawing-quick pose 4

life drawing-quick pose 4

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
― Rumi

life drawing-quick pose 5

life drawing-quick pose 5

life drawing-quick pose 6

life drawing-quick pose 6

If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Pablo Neruda

Self portrait- oil

Self portrait- oil

“I want to touch people with my art. I want them to say ‘he feels deeply, he feels tenderly. ”

~ Vincent Van Gogh

watercolor on paper-selfportrait-I want to touch people with my art

watercolor on paper-selfportrait-I want to touch people with my art


Watercolor on paper

Watercolor on paper

All this time what you were trying to tell me
I realized when I had found myself..

Everyone has different ways to be happy
I realized when I had found my way..

Life was learnt by living only, not by reading or listening
I realized when you did not tell me what you know..

Every day was a lost day if you dont have love in your heart
I realized why you had run after love like mad..

When the pain is so strong, no tears come from eyes, they say
I realized why you never cried..

They say making a crying one smile is more valuable than crying with him
I realized when you had transformed my tears into a smile..

They say anybody can break your heart but only the most loved one can hurt
I realized when you hurt me so much..

But, they say, beloved one deserves every single drop of tear you shed
I realized when my joy had left together with tears..

It was not ‘not lying’, but, not ‘hiding the truth’ was the real gift
I realized when you had placed your hand on my heart..

Being able to say “I need you. come now” was the real power
I realized when I had said to you ‘go’ ..

Love was being able to say ‘I want you to stay’ when someone said to you ‘go’
I realized when I was told to go and I had gone..

My love for you was like a kid crying like a baby when he fell
I realized when it had grown up and had wrapped me tightly..

They say regret is not apoligizing it is wanting to scream ‘forgive me’
I realized when I really had regretted

And, they say pride is a mask for losers for weak
hearts full of love dont have pride
I realized when I had found love in my heart..

One who wants desperately , does not wait, only expects to be forgiven one day
I realized when I had wanted you to forgive me desperately..

Love was an endeavour, and the endeavour was to love such a way you could never abandon it but you could set it free..
I realized.

“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.”

Kurt Vonnegut

Watercolor-Three figs

Watercolor-Three figs

It is Love -Teapot

It is Love that brings Happiness to People.
It is Love that gives Joy to Happiness.


Watercolor - TEA TİME

Watercolor – TEA TİME


“In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.”

Watercolor on paper

Watercolor on paper

There is a place…

“There is a place where voices sing your beauty;
a place where every breath carves your image in my soul.”




“Forget about your life situation and pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time. Your life is now. Your life situation is mind-stuff. Your life is real.”
Eckhart Tolle

Sleeping Birds

Sleeping Birds -Soft pastel on paper

“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow.  So do it.”
Kurt  Vonnegut

Softpastel on paper- Anncey-France

Softpastel on paper- Anncey-France

I enjoyed a lot painting this one, it is one of my favorite.

The moment two bubbles
are united, they both vanish.
A lotus blooms.

Murakami, Kijo

A lotus blooms

Soft pastel-A lotus blooms

Pluie Sur La Ville

Il pleut
La terre aspire
La semence des dieux


soft pastel

soft pastel on paper

“Well, now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots
That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land”
Pablo Neruda

Watercolor Aneecy

Watercolor on paper

What you seek is seeking you.




Simurg, painting by Ertuğrul Doğru

“There is no must in art because art is free”

_Wassily Kandinsky




I wish I had the courage
To speak of this secret
To tell the world
About this love
Isn’t lack of wanting
Isn’t lack of desire
You are my wanting
My greatest desire
I wish I could speak loud about
This healthy madness
That is to be in your arms
Lost in your kisses
Feeling crazy by desire
I wish I could recite verses
Sing to the four winds
The words that spring
You’re the inspiration
My motivation
I wish I could speak of dreams
Tell my secret desire
Of leaving everything
To live with you
This ulterior desire


nu 2

Hegel (öl. 1831), XIX. yüzyılın başlarında verdiği Estetik derslerinde renklerden söz ederken ilginç bir hususa dikkat çeker, ve “Yeşil” der;
— sarı ile mavi”nin karışmasıyla oluşan bir renktir, ancak [yeşilde] her iki rengin karşıtlığı etkisiz hâle gelmiştir.” (Das Grün ist zwar auch eine aus der Gelb und Blau gemischte Farbe, aber es ist eine einfache Neutralisation dieser Gegensätze.)

Sarı ile mavi arasındaki karşıtlık nasıl tasavvur ediliyor olmalı ki bu iki renk bir araya geldiğinde (birbirine karıştığında), hemen karşıtlığın etkisinin ortadan kalktığına hükmolunmakta?

Karşıtlığın olduğu her yerde hareket var demektir, ve o hâlde sarı ile mavi”nin birleşmesi sadece bu iki rengin karşıtlığını değil, aynı zamanda hareketini de durduruyor olmalı.

Bu yorumda renklere özgü bir hareketin tasavvur edildiği açık. Hareketin ve kaçınılmaz olarak sükûnun.

Hegel”in açıklamasında ”Neutralisation” kelimesi geçiyor.

Ben bu terimden, sarı ile mavi arasındaki diyalektik karşıtlığın solması/sönmesi, yani yeni bir anlamın ortaya çıkması (sentez) neticesini çıkarıyorum.

Yani hareketin her iki biçimi de sona ermekte. Fiil de, infial de. Etki de, edilgi de. Yani bence, eylemin eril ve dişil formları da.

Sarı ve mavideki karşıtlık, keskinlik, kesinlik yeşil”de yoktur. Yani hareket. Yeşil bu açıdan bakıldığında sükun”u, dinginliği temsil eder. Sanki geçmiş yeşil renklidir.

Garip ama öyle.

* * *
V. Kandinsky (öl. 1944), XX. yüzyılın başında, yani Hegel”in Estetik derslerinden yaklaşık bir asır sonra, renklerin hareketini açıklamak maksadıyla iki terim kullanır:

1) exzentrisch

2) konzentrisch

Yani Kandinsky”ye göre, renkler merkezden çevreye doğru hareket eder, ya da çevreden merkeze doğru.

Bakınız, kendisi renklerin (sarı ile mavi”nin) karşıt yönlere hareketini nasıl açıklıyor:

— “Aynı büyüklükte iki daire çizilip birini sarıyla, ötekini maviyle doldurursak —daha dikkatimizi kısa bir süre bu daireler üstünde toplar toplamaz— sarının ışın yaydığını, merkezden bir haraket alarak neredeyse gözle görülür biçimde insana yaklaştığını farkederiz. Oysa mavi merkezde toplanan bir hareket geliştirir (kabuğuna büzülen bir salyongoz gibi) ve insandan uzaklaşır. Birinci daire fırlayıp göze batar, ikincisi gözü derine çeker.”

Acaba, çevreden merkeze doğru hareket eden sarı ile merkezden çevreye doğru hareket eden mavi”yi birbirine karıştırdığımızda elde edeceğimiz yeşil rengin hareketle ilişkisi nasıl olacaktır?

Daha basit bir biçimde soracak olursak, karşıt yöndeki iki hareketler çarpışması nasıl sonlanır?

Kandinsky böyle bir soruyu şöyle cevaplıyor:

— “… birbirine karşıt iki hareket birbirini yok ederler, böylece tam bir hareketsizlik ve sükûn meydana gelir. Yeşil zuhur eder. (… volle Unbeweglickeit und Ruhe entsteht. Es entsteht Grün.)

Görüldüğü üzere, Kandinsky de —tıpkı Hegel gibi— sarı ile mavi”ye özgü hareketliliğin yeşilde sükûna dönüşüp etkisizleştiğine işaret etmektedir.

Yeşil, doğanın rengi. Sükûnun. Hareketsizliğin. Sadece harekete değil, hareketin miktarına da muhalif. Yani hız ve sürate.

* * *
Yaş ve yeşil aynı kökten gelir. Kökeninde tazelik mânâsı var. Yeşilin doğayı temsil etmesi de doğanın tazeliğini ve diriliğini temsil etmesi anlamına gelir. Yani yaşamı.

Yaşamda tazelik, dirilik ve süreklilik bulunuyor. Bu yönüyle belki ölümün karşıtı gibi ama yeşil aynı zamanda türbelerin, mezarlıkların da rengi. Hatta ölümün.

Müslüman bilincinin ölümü yeşillikler içinde tasavvur etmesi boşuna değildir. Yeşil cennetin rengidir çünkü. Yani, yeni yaşamın.

Ölüm insanın yeni yaşama açılan kapısı olduğundan ötürü, öncesini değil, sonrasını temsil eder. Yeniden dirilişi.

Yeşilin sükûneti telkin etmesi de yeniden dirilişin, uykudan uyanışın gerçek bir sükûnet anlamı taşımasındandır. Bence.

(Not: Mesele yorumda tafsilatı hakkediyor ama benim hâlim o kadarına müsait değil.)

* * *
Acaba, yeşil, insanın olgunluğunu, ahlâk ve edeb sahibi oluşunu da sembolize eder mi?

Niçin olmasın?

Hatırıma, rahmetli babaanneciğimin zaman zaman söylediği bir tekerleme geliyor:

— “Dışarıdan gördüm yeşil türbe/İçine girdim estağfirullah tövbe!”

Burada yeşil”le türbe”nin yanyana gelmesi gayet manidar. Çünkü bu yeşil türbe gerçekte insanı temsil ediyor. İnsanın dışarıdan görünüşünü. Sükûnetini, edebini, ahlâkını.

Fakat insana biraz yakından bakınca, sırrına ve hakikatine biraz yaklaşınca, karşılaşılan manzara, ziyaretçisine “Estağfirullah, gördüğüme göreceğime tevbeler olsun!” dedirtebilir.

Yeşil ve yeşillik çoğunlukla aldatıcıdır da ondan.

Ey talib, sakın unutma, hiçbir şey göründüğü gibi değildir.

Dücane Cündioğlu, Ölümün Dört Rengi

Oil painting by Azhykmaa

Oil painting by Azhykmaa


In Tuvan folklore, the orphan is a key figure who shows the central impor­tance of love and family relationships. Deprived of parents, orphans are con­sidered the unluckiest of humans, even if they own lots of animals and have plenty of money.

I’m alone, I’m an orphan If I’d died as a baby.
If as a baby I’d died It wouldn’t have been such a misfor­tune
I’m alone, I’m an orphan
If I’d died as a newborn in the cradle
If as a newborn in the cradle I’d died
No one would have needed my thick­ened blood (placenta)
[i.e., it would have been better to have been aborted
than to have had such an unfortunate life]
We feel pity for a tiny bird
That tumbles from a broken nest
We feel pity for a baby
Who has lost his mother
The fate of the universe Can’t be held back
Even if my dying mother stood up and came to me
She wouldn’t add to my happiness

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that a spring was breaking
out in my heart.
I said: Along which secret aqueduct,
Oh water, are you coming to me,
water of a new life
that I have never drunk?

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that a fiery sun was giving
light inside my heart.
It was fiery because I felt
warmth as from a hearth,
and sun because it gave light
and brought tears to my eyes.

Last night as I slept,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that it was God I had
here inside my heart.

You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.

_Shams Tabrizi

watercolor on paper

watercolor on paper

“Whatever you resist you become. If you resist anger, you are always angry. If you resist sadness, you are always sad. If you resist suffering, you are always suffering. If you resist confusion,you are always confused. We think that we resist certain states because they are there, but actually they are there because we resist them.”
— Adyashanti

wtaercolor painting  by azhykma

wtaercolor painting by azhykma

Katun is one of the major rivers at Altay, it’s 688 km long and starts at the height of 2000 m at south Altay mountains, being fed by melting glaciers, smaller rivers, and Chuya river (along which passes Chuysky Trakt – the road to Mongolia).
From far, Katun looks like a green river, that is because there’s a lot of limestone in the water, so the light is reflected in a strange way. Katun is not very wide: closer to Gorno-Altaysk it is just 20-30 meters wide and up towards the stream it may be 50 meters wide.
The stream in the river is quite strong, but it is possible to walk in at some places and swim a little bit, especially that the water during summer is not very cold. Katun is also great for fishing.
The main attraction of Katun is that for years, since the Soviet times, it has been a mecca for water tourism and rafting trips. Katun has a wide range of rapids of all kinds and complexities. It is a good place both for beginners and advanced rafters. There are a few annual rafting championships taking place at Katun.

Dimitry Paranyushkin
Photos : Azhykmaa

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun river, Altay mountains, Russia,shepherd

Katun &Chuya River , Altay mountains, Russia

Katun &Chuya River , Altay mountains, Russia

Katun &Chuya River , Altay mountains, Russia

Katun &Chuya River , Altay mountains, Russia

Katun &Chuya River , Altay mountains, Russia

Katun &Chuya River , Altay mountains, Russia

Katun &Chuya River , Altay mountains, Russia[/caption

A long time ago there was Ösküs-ool, who lived with his aged father and whose entire wealth consisted of three goats. Early in the spring, one of the noyon old mares foaled and died of exhaustion. The noyon ordered the foal to be taken to the steppe and thrown to the wolves, saying that losing one foal wasn’t going to make him poor. Ösküs-ool took pity on the foal, taking him as his own and feeding him on the milk of his own goats. The foal grew up to be a wonderful grey racer with a white star on his head. In the races Ösküs-ool’s horse began to beat all the noyon’s horses and won fame throughout Tuva. Out of hatred and spite the noyon ordered his men to kill Ösküs-ool’s horse, and they drove her over a high cliff.

Ösküs-ool, not finding his beloved horse anywhere, passed out from fatigue, dreaming of his horse who spoke to him with human voice. ” You will find my remains at the bottom of great cliff. Hang my skull on an old larch tree, the wood of which you will use to make musical instrument, and its face ill be the skin of my muzzle, and its strings will be of the hair of my tail. When you begin to play on this instrument, my double will come to you from the upper( heavenly ) kingdom.” Ösküs-ool did all this as his horse had said in the dream and began to play. He remembered his horse, how was a small little foal and how they played together, he remembered how they won the races, and he played and wept, and it was as if the instrument wept together with him. Ösküs-ool become angry thinking of the evil noyon, and all of his longing and anger found reflection in his playing, and that’s why it is said that the igil is such a complex instrument, with such great expressive possibilities.

Öksüs-ool played for a long time, and the people listened for a long time and laughed and cried together with him as they listened. Suddenly on top of a high mountain the clouds parted and there came down from the heavens a beautiful grey foal – an exact copy of his horse, and he wasn’t alone but with him was an entire herd of black and white horses.

From them on, so they say, Tuvans do not throw the skull of a horse on the ground, but always hang it on a tree. This tradition was strongly preserved in Tuva until the 40s.

Konstantin Khlynov


The demir-khomus has existed among the Tuvans since time immemorial. The demir-khomus has a chamber sound, and therein lies its special charm.

Its origin is connected in folk memory with the tragedy of star-crossed lovers. The story goes that there lived a young girl who was given against her will to be the wife of a rich man. The young man who loved her was a skilled blacksmith, and when this happened he forged a khomus for himself. Playing on the khomus, he forgot about food and sleep, pouring out all the feeling that overflowed from his soul. In the end, he went out of his mind and killed himself by jumping off a cliff into a swift mountain river. His lover fled from the rich man, and finding out about this, she threw herself off the very same cliff. Only the khomus forged by the hands of the unhappy lover remained.

Konstantin Khlynov


YULİYANA KRİVOSHAPKİNA «Uhuktuu» (Awakening) Yakut khomus music

What is the history behind the developement of khöömei?

The phenomenon of Tuvan throat-singing, with its various styles of performance, continues to amaze people. The spiritual world of the Tuvans, like their lifestyle itself, consolidated and embodied the freedom-loving impulses of the steppe dwellers, the inhabitants of Inner Asia.

If one imagines how endless a steppe road is, how unhurried a Tuvan horse’s tread or pensive a camel’s step is, how far steppe roads and mountain paths stretch, then it will not be difficult to realize that the life of a Tuvan in the steppe is inconceivable without sygyt-khöömei, a symbol of the Tuvan steppe that is as quiet, measured, and interminable as life itself. It is not without reason that Tuvans puzzled ethnographers when they could not answer the question: “How old are you?” The matter was not that they were unable to count. This question itself made no sense to them because time per se was an abstract notion.

Nature created a striking acoustic effect in the mountains and steppes of Tuva, where every loud word echoes with deafening reiterations. Over time Tuvans learned how to extract from these sounds the incomparable melodies that are the hallmark of the Tuvan national singing tradition. This is why from time immemorial Tuvan throat singing has been the eternal companion of singers and storytellers.

A khöömeizhi was a welcome and honored guest in any yurt, who always gave his listeners the gift of his music, born in the heart and soul of his people. The melodies of khöömei accompanied the Tuvan people in all their joys and sorrows.

Khöömei Is a phenomenon close to the soul of the Tuvan people a means of expressing the Tuvan worldview, a symbol of Tuvan spirituality, and the key to the spirit of the Tuvan people. It is in khöömei that Tuvans found consolation in their hour of need ancient times khöömei has helped Tuvans persevere, overcome hardships with dignity, and preserve their humanity.

If a nation loses its own unique identity, it will disappear from the face of the earth. Current data make it abundantly clear that not only of researchers, but also members of the younger generation are trying to preserve the art of singing, as well as the customs, rituals, and traditions of the Tuvan people. By exploring and researching Tuvan throat singing, we are able to revive all genres of musical culture long songs (uzun yrlar), short songs (kiska yrlar), refrains and ditties (kozhamyktar), as well as instrumental works for such traditional instruments as igil, byzaanchi, doshpuluur, khomus (mouth harp), and other bowed, plucked, wind, and percussion instruments

Khöömei is an art that attracts the attention not only of connoisseurs of folk music, but also of all those who would like to learn about the history of the music and the spiritual world of the Tuvan people, and of their lyrical and ritual songs. Every ethnic group has contributed to the development of human civilization and global cultural heritage. Tuvans likewise have their own contribution of great value, which has been passed down for centuries from generation to generation, and that is khöömei. Locals have preserved in memory several techniques of this art, including khöömei, ezengilleer borbangnadyr kargyraa, and sygyt.




This publication is protected by the law of the Russian Federation ob avtorskom prave ( ” On copyright”) .


Tuvan Throat-Singing

Tuvans living in southern Siberia, the Russian Federation, is a community of Turkish origin. Unlike other Turkish communities have the Buddhist faith. Shamanism in Tuva live lives as well. However, with the recognition of the world ‘s most important cultural elements Tuvans their own types of music.
There are two types of Tuvan music: first “ırlar”, folk songs known to all Turkish communities. “Kojamık” referred to the so-called type, the more improvised and sung by bickering, beat faster when compared to a form of folk song. However, with the recognition of Tuva and the second kind of wake-up music, music from around the world wonder, he could say to those skilled melodies throat.
The tradition of throat singing Tuvans, Khakas neighbors, Altays, Yakutsk, the Mongols, and even in different parts of the world are also available. But the reality of a world-recognized performers, the best song of throat is the most common way in Tuva Tuva throat is said to songs. Höömey generally known as the four main types of songs Tuva throat. These species kargıraa, borbannadyr, sygyt, and is referred to as ezengileer. This slow and fast rhythm of the song names on whether throat, varies according to instruments used in rhythm.

Prof. Dr. Ekrem ARIKOĞLU

You said, “I will go to another land, I will go to another sea.
Another city will be found, a better one than this.
Every effort of mine is a condemnation of fate;
and my heart is — like a corpse — buried.
How long will my mind remain in this wasteland.
Wherever I turn my eyes, wherever I may look
I see black ruins of my life here,
where I spent so many years destroying and wasting.”

You will find no new lands, you will find no other seas.
The city will follow you. You will roam the same
streets. And you will age in the same neighborhoods;
and you will grow gray in these same houses.
Always you will arrive in this city. Do not hope for any other —
There is no ship for you, there is no road.
As you have destroyed your life here
in this little corner, you have ruinded it in the entire world.

soft pastel - selfportrait

soft pastel – selfportrait

There’s always a Little Truth behind Every “Just Kidding”,
A Little Knowledge Behind Every “I Don’t Know”,
A Little Emotion behind Every “I Don’t Care”,
A Little Pain behind Every “It’s Okay”.


drawing on paper

drawing on paper

“True art awakens the

~ Hafez

watercolor on paper - selfportrait

watercolor on paper – selfportrait

“Because you are alive, everything is possible.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh

watercolor on paper-selfportrait-everything is possible

watercolor on paper-selfportrait-everything is possible

A good artist lets his intuition

“A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent upon arriving.
A good artist lets his intuition
lead him wherever it wants.”

~ Laozi

drawing - portrait - a good artist

drawing – portrait – a good artist


Peindre d’abord une cage
avec une porte ouverte
peindre ensuite
quelque chose de joli
quelque chose de simple
quelque chose de beau
quelque chose d’utile
pour l’oiseau
placer ensuite la toile contre un arbre
dans un jardin
dans un bois
ou dans une forêt
se cacher derrière l’arbre
sans rien dire
sans bouger…
Parfois l’oiseau arrive vite
mais il peut aussi bien mettre de longues années
avant de se décider
Ne pas se décourager
attendre s’il le faut pendant des années
la vitesse ou la lenteur de l’arrivée de l’oiseau
n’ayant aucun rapport
avec la réussite du tableau
Quand l’oiseau arrive
s’il arrive
observer le plus profond silence
attendre que l’oiseau entre dans la cage
et quand il est entré
fermer doucement la porte avec le pinceau
effacer un à un les barreaux
en ayant soin de ne toucher aucune des plumes de l’oiseau
Faire ensuite le portrait de l’arbre
en choisissant la plus belle de ses branches
pour l’oiseau
peindre aussi le vert feuillage et la fraîcheur du vent
la poussière du soleil
et le bruit des bêtes de l’herbe dans la chaleur de l’été
et puis attendre que l’oiseau se décide à chanter
Si l’oiseau ne chante pas
c’est mauvais signe
signe que le tableau est mauvais
mais s’il chante c’est bon signe
signe que vous pouvez signer
Alors vous arrachez tout doucement
une des plumes de l’oiseau
et vous écrivez votre nom dans un coin du tableau.
Jacques Prévert

soft pastel-pour faire le portrait d'un oiseau

soft pastel-pour faire le portrait d’un oiseau


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